So there I am, sitting on a tram trundling along the streets of Amsterdam, thinking that my week couldn't have gotten off to a worse start - I'D FORGOTTEN TO DO MY HAIR! I mean, please, who forgets to do their hair?

I'm sure it's a sackable, if not criminal, offence in many countries. No matter how tired or ditzy I was that morning, how did I not pass by a mirror and see the non-straightened, non-gelled, not-even-brushed mess on top of my head?!

I love people-watching, and public transport in a foreign city is a fab place to do just that, but today I felt like I was the one people would criticize. Horrors! I could feel my barnet getting dodgier by the minute - in my mind's eye I was Wurzel Gummidge with nice accessories! Frowning like the ‘Before' photo in a Botox ad. And then - my mood was lifted in an instant - El Gordo had updated the music on my iPod over the weekend and I had it on ‘shuffle' listening to the new songs he'd selected. Out of the blue, Julie Andrews' voice starts singing "Doe, a deer, a female deer....". I just laughed out loud - how did he find that and download it for ME? I have to recommend it, though - for those grey moments, or bad-hair days you can't beat a bit of ‘Sound of Music'!

The reason I was in Amsterdam was for training - sometimes my company centralises training for several of its European offices in one city, and I was lucky enough to get to go to Amsterdam! Making the most of it, I'd flown over earlier to spend the weekend with friends and El Gordo, which was why I was so exhausted by the time Monday morning came round.

Back to the real world and trying to avoid mirrors and eye-contact, I got to the hotel where the training was due to take place, and bumped into a girl from our Athens office who I had met on a previous course. She's a real Greek Goddess - long, sleek black hair, big green eyes, and curves that she wears very well. She gave me a big hug, and had hardly finished exclaiming "Darlink!" when I whisked her off to the loo to see what magic tricks she had in her handbag to remedy my hair, now resembling a secondhand Tina Turner wig. In the time it took her to recount the details of her big, fat, Greek wedding which had taken place since our last meeting, I was transformed and ready to meet the rest of my colleagues who were timidly helping themselves to the refreshments provided. Of course, by the time the 11 o'clock break came they were fighting each other for the best muffins, but at 9am it was all still very civilized!!

The course was one of those touchy-feely "share your emotions" customer service enhancement programmes. There were four groups working at separate tables, so I tried to get at the same table as my Greek friend and a cute guy from the Milan office. I figured, hey, he seems gay but at least I'll have some visual distraction when the blah-blah from the instructor gets boring. Unfortunately three older ladies from our Paris office plonqued (French for ‘plonked') themselves next to me, and the Italian cutie had to sit elsewhere.

"Try not to sit next to colleagues from your own office" the instructor was chirping at the front of the room, but the French ladies literally shrugged off that suggestion with a "Mais, alors....". I knew one of them already, and they're OK with me because I babble away in French with them, but certainly weren't as easy on the eye as Maurizio. They also seemed determined to sound off their grievances about company policy on all manner of things whenever given the chance! I found this quite amusing, but as the day wore on the instructor was getting slightly frustrated with the interruptions and side-tracking, not to mention the talk of negative aspects of the job - tsk, tsk!! His mood-enhancing medication was really being put to the test by 4pm!

With Day 1 of the 2-day course under our belts, we headed into the centre of Amsterdam to check out the sights. Having lived there for some time, I ended up as Tour Guide, leading the group around and explaining the sights and historical buildings along the way. I was surprised at the number of German and French staff who had never been there before, when it would be a short train or car journey or even shorter ‘plane journey to get there. It was quite fun to lead them past the Buddhist temple in Chinatown and then on through the Red Light District, past the famous flower market and then the equally famous coffee-shops, the two different faces of Amsterdam. We had dinner at my favourite Indonesian restaurant (a former colony of the Dutch, Indonesia has a traditional menu of between 12 and 30 yummy dishes served in one meal - "Oink" is my usual reaction!) and then the sheep were separated from the lambs, so to speak, when some staff decided to head back to the hotel and others went on in search of cocktails and dancing. No prizes for guessing that I was heading-up the search party! I decided it was best not to bring them to the Caribbean bar with the friendly ‘ladies', but we did end up in a Cuban salsa club, and well and truly let our hair down! A Great Dane from our Copenhagen office produced a huge spliff which he had acquired en route to the club and got very chilled out with a cute girl from Frankfurt, our Barcelona rep gave us Salsa lessons, and in a moment of mojito-fuelled friendliness I told Maurizio that a lovely guy like him must have a great boyfriend waiting for him in Milano. I pride myself on the accuracy of my Gaydar, so I was genuinely surprised when he claimed to be straight. "Girlfriend, I don't think so!" was my slurred response, suddenly channeling the spirit of a guest from the Jerry Springer Show and making ‘talk to the hand' type gestures. I probably then cackled like Nan from the Catherine Tate Show and shimmied onto the dancefloor, but it's a bit blurred, to be honest.

We rolled onto the street later, a big, laughing mess of international drunks running for the last tram and catching a night train out to the burbs where our hotel was. Those of us with the munchies went through a drive-thru Burger King, standing on the pressure-pad to activate the speaker system (did I really impersonate a car? Did I weigh as much as a car?!?!). Thank God I only see these people from time to time and don't actually work with them on a daily basis - I wouldn't have been able to look them in the eye!!

Day 2 of the course was slightly more somber with a few hangovers being nursed. I was nominated to do a roleplay in front of the group (thanks, guys!) which I think I did in slow motion....in fact I think I did everything in slow motion that day. Maurizio had forgiven me for casting aspersions on his masculinity (another criminal offence, especially in Italy I should think!) and by the afternoon I was able to force down a muffin, purely medicinal obviously, and was coming back to life.

At the end of the course we all had to stand in a circle and join hands, totally cringeworthy, and the course instructor said "OK, our motto to improve customer service is "Total Customer Care", right? Let's say altogether...." and at that point was expecting us all to chime in and repeat "Total Customer Care". However, and I still can't believe it happened, what the group said in perfect unison was "Altogether".

That's what you get with a group of non-native English-speakers, they take you literally!
If you say "Let's say altogether", they will say "Altogether"! At this stage I cracked up, the stress of the French militants had obviously gotten to the instructor too and before long we were all laughing. I'd say that was a much better way to end our course than the ‘Circle of Power' - it certainly had me chuckling all the way home!