By Ms Judy Free 

Judy continues her travels in the Far East and encouters more then her fair share or bouffy haired men and moustaches...

When I last wrote I was about to relinquish my lovely Club room in the hotel in Singapore (Club Orchid, by the way, and they put orchids in my room every day, and one on my pillow every night!).

I went to reception, and they told me that the 'normal' rooms were all fully booked, so they had no choice but to leave me upgraded for the rest of the week!! Hurrah!! We luv upgraded rooms!!

I rushed back to the Lounge in time for evening canapés, stuffed my face with sushi and dim sum and got pleasantly drunk on a nice Aussie white wine.

Speaking of Aussies, there was a couple in the lounge - she sounded loike Kim from Kath & Kim, in a boob-tube and mini-skirt, and he was wearing a toupee which was a mullet, and ankle-cowboy boots (I know they weren't the full-length version cos his trousers had gotten tucked into them...although maybe he'd done that on purpose!). Noice, unusual.....

I headed out to check out an Indian concert which was taking place nearby as part of the Thaipusam festival, which is where Hindus go into a trance-like state and pierce their bodies with spikes and hooks. The music part was all a bit tame - I was hoping for some manic Bangra music, but it was far more sedate.

The concert was on a playing field, and there were very few women around. As I sat there I was thinking - why do Indian men have such bouffy hair? Because they can!!

I had a vision of a shampoo advert with Sir Elton John and Dame David Furnish, sitting at this concert with Dame David nervously touching his fringe, with Sir Elton snapping at him "What do you mean, you feel insecure?", whilst all these big, black shiny quiffs were going past.

And then a follow-up ad, where Sir Elton is looking miffed, while Dame David asks "What do you mean, you feel like you're wearing the Queen Mum's dentures?" whilst all these very shiny, white Indian smiles went on around them.

The best were the moustaches - there were so MANY! It was like being at (Bolly)Woodstock, with the whole audience full of Poncherelo/Freddy Mercury hybrids...

I was also amazed at their ability to plonk down, with a rasp of velcro as they kicked off their sandals. I did likewise, but then couldn't sit comfortably, so was flicking from position to position like a nutjob until I finally decided to stand on the sidelines, having checked that I still had the contents of my pockets, as I didn't fancy wading back into the 'taches to ask if anyone had spotted a Molton Brown lipsaver!

Well, that's all for now, gotta go, but I've got a trip to Dubai planned, which I'm soooo looking forward to.

Confidentially, Judy xxxxx